Did Plastic Surgery Affect my Style?
An open letter to that hating ass follower I almost blocked
Ever since I got plastic surgery about two years ago, this became the most frequently asked question across my social media platforms. The girlies needed answers, and I respect that. I’ve been sharing most of my life with my followers over the past ten years, and despite being aware that this is nobody’s business, it still sorta is their business because they’ve been supporting me for the longest time and through it all.
While some were kind enough to simply ask while hinting, in the most subtle way, at a tiny little change, others had a very straightforward way of letting me know that despite my hypocritical ways - YES, my style did change, that I wasn’t the same person they initially followed years ago (thank God) and that I let “ass and curves get to my head” – I’m serious, I’ve got that from this specific follower who I hope is reading this because at the time I just couldn’t bother to reply. At the end of the day I’m just a girl, and a girl must pick her battles in order to remain sane. So, going back and forth with someone hiding behind a fake profile is something we are not going to do. It’s just against hot girl policy.
But in all seriousness, that accusation pierced my mind. I remember going over my IG at 3am thinking if had, in fact, morphed into a whole new person *just because* of plastic surgery. Like, was I really having an identity crisis at 30 years old or losing my authenticity and becoming part of the #noclassjustass club? That was a hard pill to swallow, too hard for me to even fall asleep that night.
Not because what people think of me rules my world, but because others don’t always see us how we see ourselves and this is something we must take both lightly and heavily. Lightly enough not to lose our minds trying to fit other people’s expectations of who we should be, but also heavily in the sense that if you think you are something but NO ONE around you can see it, then maybe there are some adjustments and improvements to be made so that you actually translate what you intend to.
Sartre, whom I adore and read a lot from, has some pretty interesting views on the role of others in our self-awareness. He believed that others are essential for our consciousness of being, meaning that, it is thanks to other people’s perception of us that we can see ourselves from the outside and deepen the awareness and knowledge of who we are and what we represent.
After staying up all night thanks to a delightful self-doubt induced insomnia, I decided to call some of my best friends to make sure that I wasn’t tripping. I do trust Sartre with my heart, but I am also aware that not every opinion comes from a good place so it is important to single out those who actually have good intentions with their criticism from those who just want to make you feel like shit because, why not?
I conducted the inquiry among my male besties, you see, brutal honesty was needed and no one better than a guy to drag you back to reality in a heartbeat, and so it was:
“Listen Gen, I love you but I do think you’ve been a little bit Nicki Minaj”ish” lately.”
This statement shattered my heart into a million pieces, cause Nicki, girl - I love you, but that’s really not the aesthetics we’re going for.
I picked up what was left from my heart and proceeded to call this other friend.
“I mean, you look gorgeous. What else do you want? Just do whatever your heart desires. I’m loving this new era of yours!”
Indeed, Mrs bitch-ass-hating-follower was right. Her delivery was definitely questionable, but not the message and here’s why:
My style did change and as every positive/long-lasting change, it came from within: I became a lot more confident and comfortable in my skin, entirely unbounded to certain insecurities that used to rule my outfit choices prior to surgery and I’m not mad about it. It’s the best feeling ever to be able to just wear anything without having to conceal a body part you don’t feel especially happy about. To just throw on a dress with no bra, no Spanx or Skims, just vibes and a flat tummy. It truly is so incredibly liberating to not feel self-conscious about your body, and that’s the main reason why I am all for plastic surgery or any corrective procedure aimed at fixing something that you dislike about yourself.
However, I must admit that I got so excited with the endless outfit possibilities, that I sort of lost track of who I was, at my core. I just wanted to wear all the things that I hadn’t worn in my 30 years of existence and to feel sexy in a way I had never felt before. But experimenting with new clothes and styling while updating your image into your current ethos can be very tricky. Especially when done in front of a 50k follower audience, who got to witness a rather odd transition from modest/self-restrained Gen to insta baddie with a side of escort Gen.
In the process, a lot of faux pas were made, and I did go overboard many times, even if both aesthetics are pretty valid to me.
So yes, Mrs bitch-ass-hating-follower, at times my body enhancements did blind me and distance me from my true essence - style wise. I did put too much energy on ass and sass but I also learned that sophistication and sexiness are not mutually exclusive, they can co-exist. And that’s how I’d describe my current style, a healthy mix of both that remains hooked to who I am but also fluid enough to incorporate new things.
With that said, I will definitely keep evolving and daring to try things outside of my comfort zone while exploring the endless possibilities available to me. I will certainly play myself (again) in the process, because that’s what life is all about: trial and error till you get to your optimal point. Only this time, I will make sure that no matter what I do, it still resonates with my true self.
PS: My ex would pay big money for a crumb of the self-accountability that I just exhibited above.
Too bad it only happens once every 10 years.
I absolutely adore you and the vulnerability and accountability you shared in this post… but I have to disagree? I remember when you first shared your plastic surgery journey, you also mentioned that now that you have the body you’ve always wanted you’d be experimenting more with different styles. I don’t think you’ve strayed too far away from what your style has always been at its core; clean, sophisticated, sexy, and modest at the same time. I know I don’t know you personally but it never gave Nicki Minaj! I think when people have decided who you are to them it’s difficult to see you as anything else and quite honestly? I think that’s an insecurity that lies within them. My interactions with you have always been the same pre and post surgery. You’ve been a bad bitch through and through and I love that you’re rediscovering yourself in your style and fashion. Nonetheless, it’s beautiful to see you be open to criticism (even though it’s not warranted here) and sharing it with us. Keep doing you, love!
Kim K. period queen